Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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