Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
