I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
