Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
