first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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