i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My dick has a subreddit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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