Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
