Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Randomize
