It's a beautiful day for a hangover
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize