Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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