Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
