Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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