i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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