More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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