mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
did i just pee glitter
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
