I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize