is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize