One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
