I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
