so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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