Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
