He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
