Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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