Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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