You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
