My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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