Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
