Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
