college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
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you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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