i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
