thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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