So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize