you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
