Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
