i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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