Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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