I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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