Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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