Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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