But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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