im so drunk with asians
where?
always
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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