whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
