I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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