sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
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I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize