it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
