accomplished twins. life is a go
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
