oh god the rape fog is back!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
