you turned your livingroom into a bong?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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