Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize