we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
