she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have fence marks all over my body
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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