There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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