Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
