I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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