it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
