Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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