She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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