Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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