i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
