Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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