Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
