Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
