I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
