I don't think brook has ever known best
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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