I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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