is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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