I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
