I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
