Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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