I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Still dying that you shit outside
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
