Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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