Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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